How Many Times Do Queer Ladies Have Intercourse?

How Many Times Do Queer Ladies Have Intercourse?

Our Lesbian Sex Survey — open to all the women that have intercourse with women — garnered 8,566 responses that are complete offered us lots of information regarding your pony-riding practices. Among the things we asked about was how many times you’ve got intercourse, because everyone is f*cking enthusiastic about how frequently everyone else is having intercourse! It’s the one thing your friend whisper-asks you when you say you’re maybe perhaps not certain that your long-term relationship is working any longer, “how usually have you got sex?” It’s the one thing people brag about if they begin a unique relationship, too. But following the U-Haul dust clears, many same-sex feminine couples are forever haunted by the likelihood of Lesbian Bed Death and, in an attempt to deter this fate, we appear unnaturally disposed to tracking everybody’s frequency to ensure we’re all on par.

Nonetheless it’s not only queers that are centered on this quantity. Searching for fundamental data on intimate regularity when it comes to basic populace had been like finding a needle in a haystack, because heteros will altherefore be so fascinated by this topic that they’re seemingly able to pump out endless articles about any of it… none of that incorporate any conclusive figures. Everybody’s concerned about exactly what sexual regularity means concerning the power of these relationship, you understand?

Most of the available information is old, which matters because there’s a whole lot of data showing that intimate behavior generally speaking went down over the past 5-10 years, particularly amongst teenagers that are sex later on much less usually. Why? Obviously it is ’cause everyone is really so busy playing in the interwebs and over-intellectualizing!

Some numbers that are good discovered include:

  • There’s one medical practitioner on the market whom discovered that married people beneath the chronilogical age of 30 have intercourse an average of about twice a week.
  • A year, married people under thirty have sex about 111 times a year, and 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year in 2009, The New York Times cited research that all married men and women have sex 58 times.
  • The guts for Health marketing at Indiana University discovered 61 per cent of singles hadn’t had intercourse inside the year that is past in opposition to 18 % of married people, and that married people between your many years of 25 and 59 had been making love 2-3 times each week. (There’s more good information for the reason that research however it’s no further available online)
  • An oft-cited research discovered that the median American adult under 40 has intercourse once weekly and about 10% have intercourse at the least four times per week.

I additionally discovered this, through the Kinsey Institute, which evidently just asks about penetrative intercourse:

There, don’t you’re feeling as you know every thing now? Me personally too. So now let’s speak about the women who like women who replied our survey! First, a thing that is important know is the fact that 89% of y our study participants had been involving the many years of 18 and 36.

Therefore, in a great globe, how frequently would our participants sex that is having? And exactly how frequently will they be sex that is actually having? Just take a gander:

There’s a conception that is popular individuals in non-monogamous relationships are experiencing intercourse more regularly compared to those in monogamous relationships, but our studies have shown that is not the case. The figures are very nearly precisely even, as you possibly can see above.

One other most striking component of the information is the fact that 35% of you wish to be sex when a time or higher, and just 3.69% of you might be sex when every day or even more. It is feasible that everyone believes they need sex much more frequently it’s also possible that when we imagine an “ideal world”, we imagine a world where we work 40 hours a week instead of 70, aren’t so damn tired after putting the kids to bed, or weren’t struggling with stress or emotional issues that make sex hard to be prepared for than they actually do, but.

We now have therefore data that are much have a look at right right here, but today’s focus will likely be on sexual regularity within relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous. Let’s enter into it.

What’s the predictor that is strongest of just how much sex you’re having?

It’s not age, it’s perhaps perhaps perhaps not want, it is maybe maybe not just how many lovers you’ve had or once you destroyed your virginity — it is the length of time you’ve held it’s place in the relationship that you’re in. Relationships which had lasted 6 months or less report even more sex frequency — about 12percent of relationships lasting half a year or less reported sex once every single day or maybe more, with 47.81per cent reporting sex numerous times per week. The figures drop slightly, although not somewhat, towards the 12 months mark, at which point the more downturn that is significant. 3% of relationships 1-3 years report that is long intercourse, 39% have intercourse numerous times per week. Even as we reach the year that is 5-10, we’ve got 1% having day-to-day intercourse and 14% carrying it out multiple times per week.

Often this might be regarded as proof of waning desire but we don’t think that is always fair — often it is difficult to get the full time, duration, plus it’s just simpler to focus on constant intercourse over the rest that you experienced whenever you’ve simply started seeing someone.

Here’s what’s amazing, though: besides the regularity of intercourse you’re really having taking place as your relationship advances, how frequently you state you need to have sexual intercourse goes down, too. So, even though the gulf between wanting and having stays wide, it is clear that for a lot of relationships, what you need couple of years in is not the same task you desired 2 yrs ago. Or possibly whenever you’re carrying it out every time you can’t imagine ever maybe not planning to do so every single day, you realize?

We additionally asked you straight “How often are you experiencing intercourse when compared to year that is first of relationship?” Of the who’d held it’s place in a 12 months or maybe more, just 7% said they’re having more intercourse now than in the beginning. 38% report less intercourse, 29% report never as sex, and 21% stated “about the exact same.”

Living together appears to have some correlation, too, but that’s most likely linked pretty tightly to amount of relationship, since individuals generally move around in after they’ve been dating for some time. A week do not live together within monogamous relationships, 68% of those who are having sex more than once a day, 63% of those having sex daily, and 54% of those having sex multiple times. The longer you’ve been residing together, the much more likely you will be to own intercourse numerous times a thirty days, once per month or numerous times per year. When you’re planning all your sleepovers at each and every other’s places, there might be an expectation of sex that simply doesn’t occur once you sleep together each night.

The length of that gap between what you need and exactly what you’re getting?

About 50 % associated with feamales in relationships who’d have sexual intercourse as soon as each and every day or even more within their perfect everyday lives are now having it numerous times per week. 31% whom desired intercourse times that are multiple week had been having it that often, 1% had been having it more frequently than multiple times per week, and 50% had been having it either once per week or numerous times per month. It isn’t bad, really: intercourse each and every day or numerous times on a daily basis is not practical for many individuals, therefore the proven fact that a lot of people have one degree down from exactly just exactly what they’d have actually in a perfect world probably leads to satisfaction that is similar.

On the bright side, 72% of females making love not as much as one per year and 57% of females never ever making love desired to be having it numerous times per week or higher.

Of these whom hadn’t had sex at all in the year that is last 18% didn’t wish to have intercourse. We assumed that people people would recognize as grey-ace, demisexual or asexual, but that is not the outcome — just 10% of these in a relationship that is sexless as asexual, 5.26% as gray-ace and 7% as demisexual (but we permitted visitors to select more than only one intimate orientation, generally there may be some overlap). It’s likely that coping with upheaval, coping with medical ailments or medicines and aging would be the contributing factors that are biggest to those perhaps maybe not wanting intercourse.

But – 36% of these in relationships whom do not have informative post sex have not had sex with anyone, ever. Therefore, whenever we have a look at people maybe perhaps maybe not making love, we possibly may usually be taking a look at people that are waiting, maybe not individuals who aren’t getting whatever they want that they had.